Jelena Dincic
Buckle up, because if you notice these 9 signs, you’re dealing with a (slightly) toxic person.
Whether we know it or not, we’ve all got at least one toxic person in our lives causing emotional turmoil and draining our energy.
In this article, I’ll reveal 9 surefire signs that you’re dealing with a toxic person so that you can protect yourself and maintain your well-being.
Fasten your seatbelt and get ready to navigate the treacherous terrain of toxic personalities.
Here we go:
1) They always play the victim
I have this aunt (don’t worry, she doesn’t go online) who’s been playing the victim for as long as I can remember!
Everything that happens is always about her. When you talk to her on the phone, she won’t wait for you to ask how she is, she’ll immediately start to tell you what horrible thing is going on with her.
And does she ask how you are? Almost never.
And if you do manage to get a rod in edgewise and tell her that you’re sick for example, she’ll reply by telling you that she’s not doing too great either, she has a sore throat or something.
That’s the thing about (slightly) toxic people, they have a way of twisting every situation to make themselves the victim.
And guess what? They never take responsibility for their actions, instead, they blame others for their problems.
What’s more, they use their victim status to gain sympathy and manipulate others.
2) They gossip about others
I know that a lot of people have a hard time resisting gossip, but it’s actually a toxic habit. That’s because gossip can cause emotional harm as well as negatively affect the way others see them.
Toxic people really enjoy talking about others, they don’t care whether the information they spread is true or not, the “juicier” the better. That’s totally my aunt.
What’s more, they often use gossip to turn people against each other. I can’t tell you how many neighborhood spats my aunt contributed to!
All in all, if this person is willing to gossip about others to you, what’s to stop them from gossiping about you to others?
3) They make everything about themselves
Remember how I said they like to play the victim? Well, it’s part of making everything about them.
Whatever experience you try to relate to a (slightly) toxic person, they’ll find a way to make it about themselves.
I don’t know what it is, I guess they didn’t get enough love and attention as kids, that’s why toxic people are self-centered and narcissistic. They make everything about them!
If you try to share some good news – like that you got a job promotion or that you’re getting married – they’ll try and outdo you with something that happened to them.
And if you’re going through a hard time? Forget it, they have it way worse than you.
It’s not easy to be around toxic people, even if they’re just slightly toxic, their disregard for other people’s feelings is exhausting.
4) They are constantly negative
When it comes to toxic people, they’re definitely “glass half empty” types of people.
I mean, when it’s winter, it’s too cold. When it’s summer it’s too hot. They don’t notice the beautiful snow or the sunshine.
They have a negative outlook on life and are super pessimistic.
The fact that they seem to focus only on the negative aspects of any given situation makes being around them draining and exhausting. That’s why some of us like to call toxic people “energy vampires” – because they seem to feed off our energy!
5) They lack empathy
Maybe they have some empathy somewhere, deep down in the depths of their souls, but I’ve never experienced it with my aunt.
I guess the fact that they’re so self-centered makes it hard for toxic people to get out of their heads and put themselves in other people’s shoes.
And as if that wasn’t bad enough, they also tend to belittle or dismiss others’ emotions and can be extremely insensitive.
In short: If you’re dealing with someone who has little empathy or understanding for other people’s feelings, it’s yet another sign that you’re dealing with someone who is (slightly) toxic.
6) They are manipulative
I’m not saying that all toxic individuals are manipulative, but certainly, a large number of them are. My aunt certainly tries to use manipulation to control and influence others, luckily, she’s not very good at it.
So how do they manipulate?
Any way they can.
They may use guilt, fear, or intimidation to get their way.
My aunt told her kids that she’d leave her home to some random people in her will because they weren’t spending enough time with her (and trust me, they were spending plenty of time with her and doing everything in their power to make her happy!)
7) They are inconsistent
The truth is that toxic people are often an emotional mess, I mean, they’re all over the place.
Their emotional inconsistency means that they’re also inconsistent in their behavior, which makes it hard to trust them.
So, for example, they’ll be friendly one minute and hostile the next, leaving you to feel confused and uncertain. Does that sound familiar?
8) They are judgmental
Unfortunately, toxic people are often quick to judge others and they make their assumptions based on superficial characteristics.
They’re quite critical of how other people dress, behave, and basically choose to live their lives.
Like for example, the other day my aunt was telling me about her neighbor’s daughter, “Can you believe she had a baby with a sperm donor?” like she had committed some horrible sin or something. And there I was thinking, “Yes, what’s the big deal? She wanted a baby, she got a baby.”
Of course, it’s no good telling them otherwise because…
9) They are never wrong
Over and over I’ve tried to talk some sense into my aunt and the only result is stress and anxiety on my part.
The thing about (slightly) toxic people is that they very rarely (read never) admit when they’re wrong. They’ll even become defensive and hostile if you try to challenge and confront them.
The bottom line is that dealing with a toxic person can be quite challenging, that’s why it’s important to recognize the signs and protect yourself.
Here are some tips that I’ve found helpful with my aunt:
- Set some boundaries
- Limit contact
- Seek support from others
And remember, you deserve to be surrounded by positive and supportive people who lift you up, not bring you down!
