Azra Jovicic
Do you feel like you’re stuck in a rut? Like nothing excites you or nothing ever will? Well, you are not the only one. Thousands of people feel exactly the same every day.
Seeing all these happy people on social media can make you feel like an alien. You are not alone in this. If you keep thinking “my life is going nowhere, what should I do”, here are some tips that can help you cope with this awful feeling!
1) Assess your life objectively
The only way to make a change is to see your life as realistically as possible. Write down all the things you have accomplished so far, such as education, relationships, and jobs.
Think about it honestly and see if you could do something better. Is the college you chose really something you wanted to do in life or did you graduate just to have a diploma?
If there is something else that you would like to do, write down all the steps that could help you pursue that kind of career. Not everyone enjoys being a lawyer or a professor.
Being successful at a job largely depends on the type of personality. Extroverts love to be surrounded by people all the time and be on the go.
On the other hand, introverts prefer quiet environments and working alone. Think about your preferences.
Maybe you have been pushing yourself to do the things you don’t like at all just because your parents were expecting you to do it. If you would like to be a gardener, then why don’t you give yourself the chance to do it?
Every job you like is worth a shot. If you enjoy it, then it must be something worth considering. The world needs more content people, happy with what they do.
We are fed up with angry people struggling to get through the day because of high expectations from the surroundings. Being honest with yourself will give you a chance to try something that could be a constant source of joy in your life.
2) Take the pressure off
Everywhere you look, there are people setting goals, achieving them, being positive, happy, and full of energy. Seeing them makes you even worse.
You start thinking that something is wrong with you because you simply cannot force yourself to do anything. Doing something just because someone told you to have to won’t get you far.
Feeling sad and unmotivated can often mean that you’ve played by the rules of everyone else and that you forgot what you want.
Give yourself time. Remember the time when this feeling started.
Maybe the people you were spending time with or the events from that period led to this kind of feeling. If you’ve experienced a hard period, the reason may be that you are numb from all the unprocessed feelings you buried deep down.
No one is saying that there is a schedule you have to fulfill or a timetable to follow. There is plenty of time for everything. Remember, things can always be done in more ways than one.
Give yourself time to find your way to do things. More importantly – forgive yourself if you make a mistake. No one knows everything from the first try; every mistake is a chance to learn something new.
3) Ask yourself what excites you
Thinking about the things that bring you joy can be a great starting point. Do you like puzzles?
Or perhaps you enjoy drawing more? Why wouldn’t you do that more often and release all that creative energy bubbling up inside?
If your parents weren’t supportive in this way and always pushed you to be practical, while you are a more artistic kind of a person, this is where the problem can happen. Give yourself permission to do something that is not productive or purposeful, but brings you joy.
Would you like to travel more? You will probably think about money and say there is not enough of it, but have you heard the saying “where there is a will, there is a way”?
Make a list of your skills and check out all the ways you can turn them into something profitable. Do you like to write, sketch or input data?
Check out all the options you have and try the one most appealing. By doing something new, you will get a chance to meet new people and bring some color into your life.
Let go of all the frames that other people put you in. If you want to make the change, you will need to make some changes yourself.
If you want some guidance in figuring out what really excites you, check out the 3-step formula shared by Ideapod founder Justin Brown below.
4) Check your health
Sometimes problems with mental health start with problems of a more physical nature. Check your hormones, since any imbalance can have a massive effect on the way we function.
Consult your physician and describe your condition. Feeling blue for a long time can actually be depression, but the cause behind it can be diabetes.
It is necessary to be as honest as possible, so you can get proper help. The reason why this happens is that diabetes causes various issues with the way we function.
The patients can struggle with fatigue and brain fog, which is sometimes sufficient to cause an entire mess in your life. Medications are great helpers in this case, but there are also some lifestyle changes that could help you improve your life.
If your days have been stressful for a long time, you may be experiencing the symptoms now. Don’t be ashamed of your symptoms.
Sometimes the solution can be pretty simple. Talking to a mental health specialist can help you identify the problem properly and find the appropriate solution.
5) Manage your time better
How have you been spending your days? Have you been watching TV or playing video games for hours for the last few years?
If the answer is yes, this may be the root of your problem. If you keep doing this, you will stay in the same place for years and nothing will change.
Do you want to live a life like this? If you are shaking your head right now, you should stop this unproductive habit once and for all.
You can limit yourself at first, since making sudden changes may make you even more nervous than you were before. You can try reducing the time slowly.
Give yourself a time frame to meet your goal. You will feel better if you break down your goals into smaller ones.
Every time you succeed, you will build up your confidence. Think about the reasons you were wasting so much time like this?
Are you afraid of making changes or taking risks? This may be buried deep down under your behavior.
Real life can be much more exciting than video games; you just have to make it that way. Choose the activities that motivate you to get up in the morning.
That will make the whole transition easier. You don’t have to be a psychic to understand what your future will look like if you don’t do something about it.
Not caring about your nutrition will certainly lead to health issues, staring at your computer the whole day for hours will cause back problems and all kinds of other symptoms.
6) Cut off all the negativity
Pay close attention to the people you spend your days with and the things they are saying. Are they complaining all the time?
Are you doing the same with them? Perhaps you are constantly saying that life is cruel, boring, or anything of that kind?
Well, negativity is contagious. If you are saying those things or hearing your close people saying the same things, you will only make things worse.
There will not be the end of it. It can only grow.
Think about your friendships and the way your friends live their lives. If they bring you down constantly and talk badly about your efforts to change, then it is time to reduce the time with them and see how you feel then.
Negativity shows up in all shapes or forms. How do you talk to yourself?
If you hear your inner voice saying that you are not capable/smart/beautiful enough, there is your red flag. This kind of thinking can only make you worse.
If you wouldn’t say it to your friend, why would you think so low of yourself? What if you stopped complaining for one day?
What would happen? Would you start enjoying the sunshine or the tasty coffee?
It is very hard to stop, we know, especially if that has been your way of dealing with things. We’ve all been there at some point in our lives, but the moment you realize how is affecting you, make some effort to change it.
7) Work for your future
No one knows what can happen tomorrow. It is something that we all must face. However, we can work towards a better future.
Everything you do today, tomorrow, next week, next month will have an impact on your future. The moment you understand this and let it truly settle in your mind, you will value your time and efforts more.
Do something today that your future self will thank you for. That doesn’t have to be huge.
You can start small. Try exercising 10 minutes a day. It is the investment in your future health.
Learning a language or taking any other course that you are interested in will pay off at some point. One thing leads to the next, so a whole new horizon will open up to you.
Don’t underestimate small efforts. Once they pile up you will be able to see how enormous your change truly is.
8) Stop using your phone too much
Ever since smartphones have been invented, we started using them very frequently. That is perfectly fine if it is justified.
However, what happens if we are using our phones too much? Well, you know this – irritability, eye strain, and bad mood.
Why does this happen? Well, because we are meant to move, not sit in one place and stare.
Besides, on every page you open, you will see these beautiful people. They talk about their success, they look perfect and it is a massive downer.
Guess what? It is all fake!
Photoshop resolves the physical part. The pictures are edited so much, that if you saw those people in front of you, you wouldn’t recognize them.
Now there is a slow change where models and actresses speak openly about it, but let’s face it – very few people in this world can honestly be called stunning. Even if they do, it is not the reason why you should feel envy and feel bad about your life.
And about the success part – no one talks about the hardships they went through before the success happened. The hardships are not popular in this new culture of making so much money almost effortlessly.
Don’t fall for that bait. Be offline for a while and simply breathe.
Do the things that you personally like. Take a walk or read a book. It will be much more useful than scrolling on your phone that is for sure.
All in all, it seems that the new culture and social media brought this wave of positivity that is not genuine. Forcing yourself to be positive can bring you more harm than facing things as they are.
9) See where’s your money going
Money is not the most important thing in the world, but it certainly brings lots of benefits. Having savings will help you to feel at ease in case of any unexpected things happen.
Besides, if you want to buy property, you will certainly need to plan your budget a little better. Saving some money and having a goal will shift your focus towards some more productive things and keep you going in the right direction.
If you keep complaining that you are broke, but you work and your salary seems to vanish with a blazing speed, you can monitor your expenses with an app. Input everything you spend your money on and you will soon realize where you can save some.
Have you been eating in restaurants on regular basis? Buying coffee on the corner?
Purchasing all the meals you want can feel like the most natural thing in the world. However, by preparing your meals at home, you can save a lot of money and actually start feeling better about yourself.
Realizing that you can make tasty food will improve your confidence and who knows; maybe it will become your passion.
10) Give yourself a chance to build a habit
Did you know that you only need 21 days to build a habit? It is such a short period, but it can make wonders for your spirit. It can be anything that you want to try.
Practicing yoga is highly beneficial on so many levels. Personally, I enjoy it the most whenever my mood sinks.
You can try it slowly and build up the routine as time passes. Your body will be grateful for sure.
Not only you will stretch fully, but you will also become aware of your breathing. Try meditation.
The best thing about it is that you don’t need anything for it. You can meditate whenever you need a moment to get yourself together.
It will clear your mind and help you figure out your goals and the steps that could lead you towards them. If you would like to start a hobby, try and see if you actually like it or you like just the idea of it.
It can take time sometimes to find something that you truly like doing and that is fine. There is no stopwatch over your head that you are trying to beat.
11) Find a life coach
Life didn’t come with a manual. Some of us simply cannot find our way through the jungle of life.
This is the harsh truth that only a few can admit. Somehow learning anything else is justified, but when it comes to living a life, we all pretend to know everything.
If you are stuck and simply cannot implement all the previous tips alone, you can talk to a life coach.
This way, you can get the support you need and have someone by your side that would cheer for you and push you towards your goals. It is easier when you have someone calm and knowledgeable to give you advice when you are too afraid to take the next step.
Besides, you will get another perspective and see things differently when the other person tells you how they see you from their angle. Make sure you find someone who is responsible, reliable, and with a good reputation.
It is not easy to entrust your life to someone and share your goals with, but it is not impossible. It is a positive step towards a brighter future.
12) Take full responsibility
Until we are mature enough, we tend to blame everyone else for our problems. That usually means that we give them too much credit and that we are not ready enough to take the wheel and make decisions.
Once you start the journey, you will realize that no one will come and do the work for you, you are the only one who can do it.
This is scary and thrilling at the same time. It will give you wings to fly and explore new spheres of life.
Standing behind your choices and decisions will be a wonderful change as it is. You can be sure that the people from your surroundings will notice it.
Take your time to discover the things you like and don’t like. Keep in mind that if you don’t like your life, you are the only one who can change it.
13) Don’t compare yourself to others
Have you heard the saying “Don’t compare the Sun and the Moon – they shine when it is their time”? It is something that cheers me up whenever I think that someone achieved more in life than me.
There are no two people in this world that are the same and that have the same lives. This is the beauty of this world.
Every life is unique and brings different challenges. Appreciate your uniqueness and never wish to be like anyone else.
Why would you like to be a fake other person, when you can be a perfect you? We give too much power to other people, but it is the path we should leave behind when we want a fulfilled life.
14) Try to enjoy the moment
Have you been thinking about the past and the future too much lately? What about the present?
You are not doing it any justice if you just keep the scale in your head go left and right. If you are thinking about the past too much, it means that you must heal the wounds that people or the events left.
If you think about the future all the time, it means that you are scared and you must find out why. Then work on learning how to improve in every way you can.
Try to be here and appreciate everything around you. Do what you can now.
All these lovely moments will make something that you love. It is the hardest skill to learn, but it will be worth it once you master it. Even though you may think it is selfish to think about yourself and your life so much, the opposite is true.
You must do it, so you can actually say that you have fulfilled your purpose in life and your goals.
Final thoughts
After implementing any of these tips, you will surely notice changes in your life and the way you handle things. Realizing that you need a change is a great step towards making it.
Surround yourself with loving and caring people that will help you on your journey and create an exciting life that you will enjoy to the fullest!
