Samantha Howard
Do you feel like there aren’t any good men out there? Ready to give up on the dating game and enjoy a life of solitude?
You’re not alone. Most of us have been there at some point, and it’s not fun.
The good news?
There are plenty of great guys out there. I found an amazing one after my ten-year marriage came screeching to a halt, and we’ve been together for over five years.
My previous relationship taught me many things, including what positive qualities to look for in a man.
Everyone is different, but most folks who make great partners share certain green flags. If a man has these traits, he’s likely worthy of a long-term relationship:
1) He communicates effectively
Let’s start with one of the biggest (and most important) green flags — effective communication.
A man with good communication skills listens closely, responds thoughtfully, and encourages open dialogue. He creates a safe space to express your thoughts and feelings, fostering deeper emotional intimacy and connection.
Effective communication does not include screaming matches, pouting, or giving you the silent treatment. These tactics are all about manipulation and control.
If he treats you that way now, it will only get worse if you continue pursuing the relationship. Get out now, and look for someone with a higher level of emotional intelligence:
2) He shows emotional intelligence
A man with high emotional intelligence navigates complex emotions and communicates with his partner, promoting understanding and empathy within the relationship.
He is sensitive and compassionate, fostering a safe and supportive environment for emotional growth and vulnerability. He understands his emotions and knows how to control them.
Guys with high emotional intelligence never use their feelings to manipulate others. They recognize their behavior’s impact on their partner and willingly admit to mistakes.
3) Patience is one of his strongest virtues
Patience is crucial when building a long-term relationship. You need someone who understands that relationships take time and is willing to grow with you.
A patient man will keep his composure during difficult times and doesn’t push you to make any decisions you aren’t ready to make.
We all lose our patience sometimes when stuck in traffic or waiting in line. What matters is finding a man who can keep his cool and remain patient in your relationship.
4) He’s self-aware
When you’re looking for a long-term relationship, you need a man who is self-aware. Someone who knows who he is and recognizes his strengths and weaknesses.
Self-aware men know they aren’t perfect and work toward continual personal growth. They don’t blame others when problems arise and hold themselves accountable for their actions.
If you have a self-aware man with a growth mindset, you can rely on him to work with you to build a healthy, balanced relationship built on trust.
5) He proves his trustworthiness
Trust is the bedrock of any successful long-term relationship. A trustworthy man is honest, reliable, and consistent in his actions and words. He keeps his promises, proving himself to be a dependable partner.
Keep in mind that trust isn’t just about staying loyal to you. It’s also about handling responsibilities and being upfront. If you’re worried about him paying bills on time, hiding things, or straight-up telling lies (even small ones), he’s not the one for you.
A trustworthy man tells the truth because he respects you, which brings us to the next point:
6) He’s respectful
Only a man who treats you with respect, kindness, and consideration is worth your time.
A respectful man values your opinions and boundaries, and his respect doesn’t falter during disagreements. He sees you as his equal, not his subordinate.
Men who belittle you, put down your opinions, or refuse to listen to what you say don’t respect you, even if they say they do. Respect is about actions and behaviors — not words alone.
Pay attention to how he treats others, too.
Most people are on their best behavior at the beginning of relationships. If he shows you respect but treats others around him disrespectfully, that’s a red flag you shouldn’t ignore.
Disrespect often creeps in quietly — as it did with my ex-husband — so pay close attention as your relationship evolves.
7) He’s genuinely supportive
No matter how independent and self-sufficient you are, the man in your life should be supportive.
Whether you’re thinking about going back to school, changing careers, or even just taking up a new hobby, he supports your goals and dreams. He offers encouragement, understanding, and a helping hand during challenging times.
A man who deserves to be in a long-term relationship with you will be your biggest cheerleader and celebrate your successes. This unwavering support strengthens the foundation of the relationship and helps both partners flourish.
And while supporting you, he also works to make his own dreams a reality:
8) He has ambition
The right man for you is ambitious and driven to achieve personal growth and success.
He sets goals and works hard to realize them while inspiring you to pursue your dreams as well. Ambition fuels a shared sense of purpose, contributing to your mutual growth and fulfillment as the relationship grows.
9) He adapts well to change
When it comes to long-term relationships, you don’t want to end up with someone who is stuck in their ways and refuses to change.
Life is filled with unexpected twists and turns, and an adaptable man accepts change and uncertainty. He is willing to adjust his plans and expectations to overcome challenges and build a strong relationship.
10) He makes you laugh
A good sense of humor is important in a relationship because you need someone you can laugh with on even your most difficult days.
A guy with a sense of humor who finds joy in the little things lightens the mood during tough times and brings positivity and happiness to your relationship.
Even if no one else “gets” his sense of humor or bursts into laughter when he cracks a joke, he’s likely a keeper if he knows how to make you laugh.
11) He shares your values
You don’t have to agree on everything, but a long-term relationship will only work if you share similar core values.
With similar principles and beliefs, you can build a strong relationship based on your shared ethics and morals. This ensures a mutual understanding of the most important aspects of your lives and helps ease conflicts.
Final thoughts
All the traits above indicate that a potential love interest is a good man worthy of a long-term relationship.
But you should always trust your instincts.
If something doesn’t feel right, don’t force the relationship — even if the relationship seems perfect in every way. Listen to your gut, and don’t waste time building a relationship with anyone who doesn’t set your soul on fire.
You’ll probably find some duds in your pursuit of a long-term relationship. But understanding what green flags to look for will make it much easier to recognize red flags and avoid wasting your time on a man who isn’t the one.
Once you find the right man, you’ll wonder how (and why) you ever put up with ones who lacked those positive qualities.
