Liv Walde
Being single often gets a bad rap.
You find yourself having to defend your choices and even start to feel guilty for not having a significant other in your life.
But fear not; next time someone suddenly starts grilling you on why you’re single, I’ve got you covered.
Let’s be honest: it can be pretty difficult to fight your own corner when people start haranguing you about why you’re not on the dating apps or why you’re not willing to meet up with their ‘hot, tall, mysterious’ friend from work.
Luckily for you, research actually shows that there are multiple benefits to singledom.
And it’s always good to have a science backed argument when defending your case.
(Not that you should have to – remember that you don’t actually owe anyone explanations regarding your dating life).
Still, a few educated points will give you a sense of ease about your choices and shut down any unnecessary comments).
Ready to learn?
1) You get to work on self-discovery and growth
I put off re-entering a relationship after being hurt for so many years and focused on self-growth and finding out more about who I was as a person.
It was incredibly beneficial and allowed me to delve deeper into many aspects of my personality and character.
At the same time, being part of a relationship allowed me to learn so much about empathy and compassion, and how to incorporate another person into my life in a healthy manner.
This is a shared experience; multiple studies demonstrate the benefits that having more time alone brings to self-development.
However, many people dart from relationship to relationship out of fear of being alone. They only feel comfortable when part of a couple.
This can be a huge hindrance to being able to really knuckle down and reflect on your own values, opinions, and ideas.
Being part of a couple (or throuple, or whatever way you sway) is fantastic.
However, the external influence of another person can direct your ideas in ways that you don’t actually align with and prevent you from realizing your real truth.
2) You have more time to focus on your health
Constantly going on fun dates and indulging in pizza and wine, sharing popcorn and sweet snacks during Netflix nights in, and getting stuck into family dinners with your partner can bring so much love to your soul.
It can also lead you to pack on the pounds.
Research shows that women gain on average 24lbs in the first 5 years of marriage when living with a partner, and around 15 lbs when living apart.
For men, the numbers are similar although cohabitation has less of an impact.
Additionally, studies show that women who have always been single tend to be healthier than those currently married. As in fewer doctor visits and days off work.
Being single means you have much more time to yourself.
Therefore, you’re less likely to skip that spin class or go out for a three course dinner.
Instead, singles tend to put more focus into healthy lifestyle habits and push the boat out into trying new physical activities, leading to an overall healthier lifestyle.
3) You can learn more about your personal hobbies, interests and yourself
On top of physical health, being single gives you far more time to explore and try out things that interest you.
Think about it: a quiet Sunday in a relationship might be spent snoozing in, going to the farmer’s market, and hanging out with your partner.
Outside of your relationship, you’re in charge of what you do in your freetime. You might still sleep in and relax, but you’ll likely feel more inclined to try out a new sport, a new crafting class, or some other activity you’ve yet to try out for yourself.
This isn’t just me trying to persuade you that weekends spent solo aren’t to feel guilty about.
Recent research shows this clear correlation between being single and having more time to dictate your own actions and do what you want to do.
In dipping your toes in these new experiences, you start to learn so much more about what you like and dislike and how you enjoy spending your time.
4) You can put more energy into friendships
Additionally, being single grants you far more time to make new friends and maintain healthy friendships.
Being single provides you with far more quality time to spend with friends and the space to make new connections.
You can probably think of a friend you’ve lost to coupledom.
You know when they get attached at the hip and start finishing each other’s sentences on the very rare occasions that they’re not alone in one another’s company.
Boring and a bit heartbreaking as their identity blends into one big puddle, I know.
Navigating the world by yourself allows other people to approach you and for you to open up candidly, which makes for the best form of connection building.
5) You prioritize your professional life and embrace new opportunities
When you don’t fully need to take anyone else’s needs into account, you have far more flexibility in jumping at every opportunity you’re given.
Offered a big promotion which involves upping and moving to the other side of the world?
You don’t have to take a partner’s needs or requirements into account.
Want to move closer to the office so the commute isn’t so much of a hassle?
No problem – you’re steering your own boat.
Want to surf in a bikini, for work?
No one’s stopping you…
Although a partner can encourage and support us in healthy ways, you spread your wings the furthest when you’re single.
You don’t have to worry about pleasing someone else or meeting their expectations (bar perhaps your parents), and can put more effort into your professional life and career.
Research even shows that you’ll enjoy meaningful work more.
6) You learn more about independence
My first port of call when something goes awry in my house is to yell for my partner.
Building IKEA furniture, fixing leaking pipes, working out how to pay utilities.
I delegate very efficiently and, in the process, have managed to avoid learning how to do any of the above for myself.
The beauty of being single is that you have no one to call upon in minor times of need.
(Unless you turn to TaskRabbit or beg a neighbor).
Being single pushes you into self-sufficiency and forces you to try more challenging or daunting tasks for yourself.
In doing so, you not only learn more, but also grow more confident in your own abilities.
Single and thriving!
Next time someone tries to call you out on why you’re not putting yourself out there and tells you to give dating a go, you’ll be more than ready to educate them on the benefits of being single.
Not that you should have to. Your relationship decisions are nobody’s business but your own.
Nonetheless, feel assured that you’re not missing out in doing life by yourself.
Whether it’s for a short while or you just prefer solo-living, being single comes with many notable benefits.
And whilst society might shove being in relationships and love-dovey couple content down your throat, there’s many things you learn about yourself and the world when you’re not tied to someone else.
