Lyndol Lyons
Am I the drama?
While the funny Tiktok video might seem amusing, figuring out that you’re the problem in your family is quite a sobering reality.
So if you’re curious to find out if you’re the one causing the drama, this article is packed with all the signs you are.
Let’s dive in.
1) You have a problem with authority
Obey your parents, the Scriptures say. But if you’re the problem in your family, you’ll be the first to break this commandment.
You may not always show it, but you have a problem with authority figures. Your mother, father, siblings, and teachers are all authority figures in your life.
And when they give you orders or instructions, you find it difficult to obey them.
Instead of following their lead and doing things as they want them done, you do things your way no matter what they say or do.
As a result of this attitude towards authority figures in your life, you’re likely to be the person that causes the most trouble in your family.
2) You don’t take responsibility for your actions
Your mother told you to clean up your room and it’s been a week since she asked you to do it.
But you keep ignoring her because you’re too busy playing games on your phone or watching TV. And when she asks you to do it, instead of doing so, you say, “I’ll do it later, mom!”
Sure enough, the day passes by and the next day comes. And when she asks you again, the same thing happens again.
This is what we call not taking responsibility for your actions.
And if this is a bad habit of yours, you’re almost certainly the problem in your family.
3) You’re always late for appointments or events
It’s 7:00 pm on a Saturday evening and your parents are expecting you back home at 7:00pm sharp.
But when you come home at 8:30pm, guess who becomes the center of attention? That’s right, it’s you! And as a result of your tardiness, everyone starts to give you grief.
You might think that this is no big deal but it is.
Because if this happens often in your family, then the only logical explanation for it is that you have a problem with time management and punctuality.
4) You’re always on your phone
One of the most important things to learn is to be present with your family and friends.
This means that when you’re out with them, you should be fully engaged with them and not on your phone.
However, if you can’t put the phone down, there’s a good chance that you’re the problem in your family.
5) You always interrupt people
If this sounds like you, then it doesn’t matter how many times people tell you or ask you to stop interrupting.
Because even when they do, you don’t. And as a result, you’re the person who causes the most drama in your family.
6) You always try to control people
You’re manipulative and always want things to go according to your plans.
And if you can’t make them do what you want, then there’s a good chance that you’re the reason why they have so many problems in their lives.
7) You always criticize people
You never had anything nice to say, all you do is spew venom and highlight the negative and never the positive.
It’s really soul-destroying to have someone criticize you all the time and if you have a habit of doing this, it’s toxic and harmful to others in your family.
But if you can’t seem to stop doing it, then there’s a good chance that you’re the reason why they have so many problems in their lives.
8) You always gossip about people behind their backs
You don’t know how to keep your mouth shut and this is not only harmful to others but also bad for your family as well because you’re spreading rumors and ruining people’s reputations instead of keeping them happy.
9) You always judge people
You’re passing judgment on others but fail to see your own flaws.
You aren’t willing to get to know someone first but rather, pass judgment on hearsay or, even worse, you judge them on their appearance.
10) You give off bad vibes
You notice that people tend to avoid you in social gatherings. they avoid eye contact, they make excuses, saying that they’re busy and can’t talk right now.
You have no idea why? After all, you just gave your honest opinion and it’s not your fault if they can’t handle the truth!
Do you want the brutal truth?
People might be avoiding you because they think you’re toxic.
It’s difficult for a toxic person to identify that they’re acting this way so take a look at this video of Justin Brown admitting that he’s toxic.
It will help you to become more aware of any toxic traits you might possess.
11) You’re always the last one to know about family news
If you’re always the last one to know about the latest engagement, pregnancy, or job promotion, it’s time you started doing some introspection.
Also, you’re never invited to these events!
Why?
Well, how did you react when your sister told you that she’s pregnant? Did you tell her to terminate the pregnancy as a joke?
Or, when your brother got promoted to regional manager, did you try to downplay his success?
When you disregard the achievements of others it’s really not a nice thing to do and invalidates them.
So, if you’re always the last one to hear the latest news, chances are, you’re the problem.
12) You have no idea how to listen and respect other people’s opinions
You don’t like to hear what others have to say and this is not only bad for you but also bad for your family because they’ll tend to avoid you when they see that all you do is criticize them in a passive-aggressive way.
If this resonates with you, it might be time to rethink your approach to relationships!
13) You don’t apologize. Ever.
You’re so used to being right and perfect that you feel like you don’t need to apologize.
This is not only bad for the relationship but also bad for your self-esteem because people will tend to avoid you when they see that you don’t take responsibility for your actions.
The truth is that whether or not it was your fault in a situation doesn’t matter.
What matters is how you behave and how you treat others. However, if this resonates with you, then it’s time to start apologizing!
14) You’re always embroiled in drama
If you’re always embroiled in drama, then you’re not really helping yourself or your family.
You’re doing exactly the opposite of what you want to achieve in life because it’s counter-productive.
The truth is that not all drama is bad. In fact, sometimes, it’s good! However, if this resonates with you, then it’s time to start looking at the good and the bad sides of things!
15) You always try to make people feel guilty for something they haven’t done wrong
This is terrible for your relationship because no one likes someone who constantly tries to make them feel guilty for something they haven’t done wrong.
It will also cause a lot of unnecessary stress and tension in your life. This is, therefore, not a good thing to do.
However, if this resonates with you, then it’s time to start thinking about the consequences of your actions!
16) You don’t try to understand other people’s points of view
When you don’t try to understand other people’s points of view, it will be really hard for you or them to have a healthy relationship with one another because every time they see that you don’t listen to what they have to say, they’ll tend to avoid you and this will make you feel really bad and lonely.
The truth is that communication is key in any relationship and if you want a healthy and happy relationship then it’s important that you communicate with your partner and listen to what they have to say.
However, if this resonates with you, then it’s time to start listening!
17) You can’t handle the truth
If you can’t handle the truth, then it’s not healthy because if you’re not willing to face the truth in a relationship, then clearly your partner isn’t either.
This will make things really hard for both of you and this is not a good thing in any relationship.
The truth is that if you’re going to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to face up to the truth then clearly there’s no hope for success in that relationship because that person will never be able to accept it when the time comes that you do something that they don’t like.
18) You blame your problems on everyone else
This is a very bad thing because if you always blame your problems on others, then it will make it really hard for you to move on and this will cause you to be stuck in the same situation over and over again.
It’s all your fault!
When things go wrong in your life, instead of taking responsibility for what has happened, you blame someone else and this causes you a lot of problems because if you can’t take responsibility for anything then there’s no way that you’re going to get anywhere in life.
19) You’re always the victim
Everyone is out to get you and the world is conspiring against you!
You’re always so defensive and defensive people are not attractive!
This is a very bad thing because if you’re always defensive, then this will make it really hard for you to open up to someone else which means that it’s going to be really hard for you.
When you have a toxic personality you tend to think that bad things only happen to you, which is obviously not the case.
Life happens, both good and bad and all you can do is roll with the punches.
20) You’re too needy!
You expect people to give you things and you want them to cater to your every need!
You need constant validation from others to the point where it’s mentally exhausting.
You’re unable to fend for yourself and are always seeking the opinions of others or their advice that you never follow.
21) You don’t clap when others are winning
Instead of being happy for others, you despise the fact that they’re happy.
Because on the inside, you’re miserable. You say things like “Oh if it wasn’t for her husband, she wouldn’t have a cent to her name.
You are insecure about yourself and instead of supporting and praising the achievements of others, you look for fault and try to ruin their moment in the limelight.
22) You are the only person who matters
You rarely worry about the needs of others and instead, only care about your happiness and what makes you comfortable.
You’re always trying to prove yourself and make others see how great you are. You’re constantly trying to show off and make others jealous.
You are a positive person but you just don’t seem to understand that it’s not about being positive all of the time, rather it’s about being positive when it’s appropriate.
23) You’re boastful
You believe that you’re better than others and more worthy than them.
You think that the world revolves around you and your needs and wants.
You think that other people are inferior to you and that they should be grateful for the things that you have, which is not true at all.
24) You’re not humble or modest
You find it hard to see the good in others and instead, see the bad in them which is why you don’t like people who are different from you.
You dislike people who are different from you because they remind you of your flaws which makes it hard for you to come to terms with yourself.
25) You enjoy belittling others
You’re a self-centered person who looks down on others.
You have little regard for others and only care about yourself and your needs.
You’re not particularly nice to people because you don’t like the idea of there being someone better than you, which is why you don’t like people who are different from you.
26) All you do is bitch and moan
You constantly complain about your life and how hard it is and yet you don’t work hard enough to improve yourself or make any changes in your life.
You are a lazy person who doesn’t want to change anything about his/her life or take responsibility for his/her actions or choices.
You will always blame everyone else for everything that happens
27) You’re ungrateful
You are not grateful for the things that you have and you don’t appreciate the things that other people do for you.
You are selfish and always expect more than you deserve. You don’t care about other people at all and it’s usually because of their feelings or what they think of you.
28) You’re a liar
You’re always telling lies to other people and expect them to believe you when they find out later on that what you said was a lie.
You only tell lies because it’s easier than telling the truth which makes it hard for others to trust you because they know that whatever you say is probably going to be false or misleading in some way.
29) You have little respect or courtesy towards others
You’re a rude person who doesn’t care about other people’s feelings and doesn’t show them any respect or courtesy.
You don’t care about other people’s feelings or how they feel or what they think of you.
You only care about your own needs and wants which is why you don’t have any respect for others.
30) You’re very selfish
You are only thinking of yourself and your own needs which is why you don’t care what happens to the people around you or how they feel.
You do whatever you want to do and don’t think about anyone else at all.
You never put yourself in someone else’s shoes or try to understand their feelings because it’s easier to just do whatever you want without thinking about anyone else.
31) You find fault with everything
Instead of being thankful or grateful when somebody helps you, you nit-pick and find fault. For example, your wife has just spent the entire day cleaning. When you come home, you notice the dishwasher hasn’t been unpacked.
Instead of saying “Wow, honey, the house looks great!”, you go off on a tangent because she forgot to unpack the dishwasher.
What you’re doing is devaluing people and they’ll be reluctant to do anything for you because you’re never satisfied.
32) Your emotions are erratic
Ever heard the saying four seasons in one day.
You’re never constant.
Your mood changes and fluctuates constantly causing people to walk on eggshells around you and causing them to be anxious.
They never know what’s coming next and tend to avoid you altogether.
How do I stop acting like this
The first step is in acknowledging that there’s a problem.
You aren’t happy within yourself and this is why you’re acting out.
But I get it, letting those feelings out can be hard, especially if you’ve spent so long trying to stay in control of them.
If that’s the case, I highly recommend watching this free breathwork video, created by the shaman, Rudá Iandê.
Rudá isn’t another self-professed life coach. Through shamanism and his own life journey, he’s created a modern-day twist to ancient healing techniques.
The exercises in his invigorating video combine years of breathwork experience and ancient shamanic beliefs, designed to help you relax and check in with your body and soul.
After many years of suppressing my emotions, Rudá’s dynamic breathwork flow quite literally revived that connection.
And that’s what you need:
A spark to reconnect you with your feelings so that you can begin focussing on the most important relationship of all – the one you have with yourself.
So if you’re ready to take back control over your mind, body, and soul, if you’re ready to say goodbye to anxiety and stress, check out his genuine advice below.
Here’s a link to the free video again.
