Liv Walde
Being true to who you are no matter the situation.
Sounds great, doesn’t it?
You might also think that you’re as authentic as they come, but have an honest think…
Can you come up with any past situations where you’ve wavered and ended up watering down your personality or pretending you like something you have no interest in to appease someone?
I know I can for sure.
The truth is that we could all live a little more authentically.
It’s just difficult to do so in a society where we often feel pressured to meet certain standards or act in a certain way.
So how do the truly authentic fight off these pressures?
Well, by starters, they tend to share the following 10 traits which help them to maintain their true selves:
1) They don’t let money or appearance dictate their happiness
Part of the reason why authentic people stay the way that they are is that they avoid letting the temptations of money or superficial items sway their values.
What they value instead is honesty, reliability, and a life rich with experiences and relationships.
They know that this can’t be achieved through selling their souls to the corporate rat race or chasing the newest model of car.
In fact, altering their appearance or working themselves silly to afford outfits to impress others goes against their very nature.
Buying things to impress or trying to tailor their appearance to fit current trends only works to win over superficial status symbol chasers…
Which the truly authentic have no interest in.
2) They have honest and supportive friends
Something you’ll notice of truly authentic people is that they tend to have a close-knit circle of friends.
This is because the people around them wholly admire their genuine and candid nature.
What’s better than a friend or partner who you can always rely upon, who you know will never lie or spin stories to impress you, and who will take accountability for their actions?
Hard to come by nowadays – so people tend to cling on to the good ones out there.
On top of that, truly authentic people tend to make sure that their friends are equally pure-hearted and genuine.
They know that life is easily spoiled when spent surrounded with toxic individuals who make you feel bad about yourself or demean your self-worth.
Thus, they avoid keeping more toxic individuals in their close social circles and benefit from long-lasting friendships that never leave them guessing the nature or intentions of those people.
3) And avoid people-pleasing
This watertight, genuine friendship group that truly authentic people often have is also due to the fact that they avoid people-pleasing like the plague.
We can all think of someone (maybe ourselves…) who puts on a mask in social situations.
They pretend to be interested in Football to impress a boy.
Or they say that they love cooking to impress an in-law, when in fact they live off take-out.
Or they pretend to be meek and mild at a dinner party where abortion rights are brought up, when they’re ardently in favor yet don’t want to upset the very conservative host.
Truly authentic people don’t bend and twist their values to meet the situation.
Even if this means a few awkward conversations and treading on toes, they stick to their guns and stand up for what they believe in.
For some, this trait can be quite jarring (as people also enjoy hearing what pleases them).
However, authentic people attract authentic people and many others love it when someone shows up as their true selves.
4) They’re good listeners
On top of their ability to stay true to their morals, truly authentic people are also great at listening to the ideas and beliefs of others.
Or even more plainly, what a friend has been up to in their day to day or what they thought about a new tv show.
They know that part of authenticity and managing wholesome and genuine relationships means always making space for what the other person has to say.
5) But equally good at communicating in a calm and clear manner
And when it comes to their time to speak, they’re great at expressing themselves in a way that doesn’t fall into getting aggressive or raising their tone of voice to get their point across.
You can be sure that truly authentic people won’t be harboring grudges or keeping their feelings to themselves.
They also avoid saying things that they don’t mean to butter people up or hide aspects of their character.
Instead, they’re clear and concise in how they communicate and aren’t afraid to say what they think.
6) They’re self-aware of both the good and the bad
Glossing over your own faults is something many of us are guilty of.
But being truly authentic means accepting your shortcomings and doing what you can to improve or make amends for where you go wrong.
Truly authentic people leave their ego at the door and own up when they make mistakes.
They also know the areas in which they stand out and shine and aren’t afraid to (quietly) champion their self-worth.
7) And have a healthy ego
Part of knowing your self-worth is being able to laugh at yourself.
Not in a self-deprecating, look-I’m-laughing-at-myself-before-you-can way.
Authentic people just have the ability to let loose and enjoy the moment.
They take neither themselves or the world too seriously.
This also means that they’re rarely arrogant or boastful. Nor do they allow others to belittle or criticize themselves (as we covered when exploring the likelihood that they avoid these toxic relationships).
8) They appreciate your individuality as much as their own
Branching off from that self-awareness, authentic people tend to know the ways in which they stand out from the crowd.
They don’t let these differences make them feel ill at ease, though.
Instead, they embrace their uniqueness.
They won’t hide the fact that they have a very extensive Geode collection at home or the fact that they breed Scorpions as a part-time hobby.
They love the little nuances that make other people stand out as well, and will often be the first person to encourage your eccentricity.
9) They tend to be well adjusted to reality
Being a daydream believer is wonderful.
But being so out of touch with reality and lost in a fantasy world tends to leave you less prepared for when life does take a bad turn.
Truly authentic people tend to see the world in a realistic light.
This isn’t to say that they’re pessimists.
Rather, they approach things with an optimistic view but are also aware of how the world works; how some people aren’t quite what they seem, and how everything doesn’t end up going according to plan.
They dream and they reach, but they have two feet planted firmly on the ground.
10) They’re able to learn and grow from mistakes
Being able to accept responsibility for their mistakes, apologize, and then take the situation as a chance to learn and grow is a key trait of the truly authentic.
Many people face failure, rejection, or hurting others by turning tail and fleeing in the opposite direction.
But this doesn’t really help anyone.
People who stay true to themselves own up to their mistakes and use them as valuable life lessons.
They take what learnings they can and use these to improve their understanding and interactions with the world around.
Final Thoughts
Authenticity means showing up as yourself and staying true to who you are.
Or who you think you are, at least.
Self-discovery takes time and you’re unlikely to have the same values and beliefs that you had as a teenager.
But part of continuing to grow and develop into your own shoes is staying true to your inner moral compass and values.
What’s likely is that you still share many traits and values with your thirteen-year-old self.
It’s by staying authentic to that younger version of you that you’re able to flourish and build upon the blocks you started with.
Inauthenticity and people-pleasing can cause these foundations to erode, leaving you less certain of who you are and where you’re going.
So if you think you’ve still got a bit of work to do on staying true to yourself, start with trying to incorporate more of the above traits into your daily lifestyle.
You’ll be surprised by how quickly you find your footing.
