Samantha Howard
Love is amazing.
It’s also hard and pretty confusing.
Even if you’re head over heels for someone, they may not feel the same way — even if they say they do.
Actions speak louder than words in relationships, so I’m sharing some of the subtle (and not-so-subtle) signs that someone is genuinely in love with you.
Let’s jump in:
1) They respect you
Love and respect go hand in hand, but it’s not always easy to distinguish one from the other.
Genuine respect is like a hug for the soul. For me, it makes me feel valued, which automatically triggers loving feelings.
So, how can you tell if someone respects you?
First, they listen. They never belittle your thoughts or feelings, and they treat you as an equal. Someone who respects you also loves you for who you are and would never ask you to change a single thing about yourself.
Ready for the next big sign that someone loves you? Let’s go:
2) They prioritize your well-being
Someone who genuinely loves you doesn’t expect you to put your well-being on the back burner. This includes your physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
Ensuring that your needs are met is a big deal to them. Whether it’s texting you at work to see how your day is going, giving you a small gift “just because,” or encouraging you to practice self-care, they make sure you feel appreciated and cared for.
If they say they love you but fail to make you a top priority, that’s a huge red flag. And it’s one I put up with for way too long…
Before my ex and I divorced, we were broke. Like, “Do we pay bills this week or do we buy food so we don’t starve?” broke.
We had one car, an almost-empty gas tank, and $0 in the bank.
He needed to go to work in the morning, and I had physical therapy for a back injury in the evening. I, by some miracle, had $5 in my purse and gave it to him, asking him to put it in the gas tank so he could get to work and I could get to my appointment.
Sounds reasonable, right?
Not to him.
When he got home, he told me he only put around $3 in the gas tank… Because he “needed” a candy bar on his way back.
Yes, he had lunch and snacks at work. And, yes, we did have food in the fridge at home.
He just didn’t care if I had enough gas to make it to my appointment or not. His candy bar was more important.
And in that moment (and many others), I realized he couldn’t possibly love me if he cared that little about my well-being.
Trust me: Once you find someone who prioritizes you, you’ll wonder how (and why) you ever put up with someone who didn’t. I look back on that day and can’t believe I didn’t see his lack of concern for my well-being a lot sooner.
But I digress.
Let’s move on to the next sign that someone is genuinely in love with you:
3) You feel safe with them
When someone is in love, the last thing they ever want is for their partner to feel unsafe.
You should feel protected and secure when you’re together — not be worried about them hurting you or damaging your things.
Remember that it’s not just about physical safety, though.
Someone who loves you allows you to express yourself and respects your thoughts and opinions. They enable you to say what you need to say without being afraid of how they’ll react.
Arguments and anger are part of every relationship, but that doesn’t mean they have to be violent or frightening. Someone who loves you will never use their anger to scare you or threaten you.
Instead, they express their frustration in a healthy way. Which means that…
4) They communicate effectively
Communication is important in all relationships, and someone who truly loves you understands that.
A person who loves you makes an effort to speak clearly and actively listen to what to say, even when discussing difficult topics. They pay attention to non-verbal cues, too, and learn to recognize your body language.
In relationships with healthy communication, both people feel like they can talk to their partner about absolutely anything. They bring up problems and try to resolve them rather than ignoring them.
Communicating effectively also means admitting when they are wrong and apologizing. Someone who loves you won’t gaslight you or try to bully you into seeing things their way, and they definitely won’t frighten you into silence.
5) They’re honest
Another part of healthy communication: Telling the truth.
You can’t build a solid relationship on a foundation of lies, especially when the stories keep changing.
Trust me; I spent a lot of years married to a liar.
Now that I’m out of it, I see just how much even small, seemingly insignificant lies destroy trust — and relationships.
My advice: If you catch someone who claims to love you in a lie, run. If they can’t respect you enough to tell you the truth, they aren’t worth any more of your time.
A good partner is honest, and they take an active interest in your life:
6) They take an interest in your hobbies
So, how do you know that your partner is interested in your life?
One way is by taking an interest in your hobbies.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that they have to share your love of knitting or your passion for yoga. But it does mean they actively listen when you talk about the hobbies you enjoy.
Seeing how you light up when you’re engaged in your favorite hobby makes them happy, and they encourage you to stick with it — even if they don’t share your passion.
Pay attention if they tease you about your hobbies or make you feel like they aren’t important.
Someone who truly loves you wants you to do the things that make you happy and encourages you to be your authentic self.
7) They encourage you to be yourself
Falling in love isn’t about molding someone into your perfect partner.
It’s about appreciating someone for who they are.
Someone who loves you encourages you to be yourself. They don’t expect (or want) you to change your views to align with theirs, drop your friends and hobbies, or change anything about your appearance.
True love is about, well, loving you for YOU.
8) They remember little things
Part of loving you for who you are is learning things like your favorite color, your favorite takeout spot, and what puts you in a good mood after a bad day.
A loving partner remembers these things and uses them to show they care about you.
They might buy something in your favorite color just because it made them think of you. Or they could gift you an amethyst necklace because you love crystals.
It could even be as simple as having a cup of your favorite coffee waiting to help you start your day on a positive note.
They remember important dates, too.
They know when the big things are — like your birthday and anniversary — but also pay attention to other dates that matter to you. From an upcoming job interview to your cat’s birthday, any date that’s important to you becomes important to them, too.
9) They introduce you to the important people in their life
…and they make an effort to get to know your people, too!
You and your partner don’t need to be besties with each other’s friends, co-workers, and family. But someone who loves you will introduce you to the important people in their life. They’ll also meet and make a genuine effort to form a bond with yours.
A loving partner won’t isolate you from friends and loved ones; they’ll never give you an “it’s them or me” ultimatum.
It’s one thing if they think your mom is overbearing, but still treat her with respect. It’s another if they put her down and try to keep you away from her.
Last thoughts
Love or infatuation. Healthy or unhealthy. Caring or controlling… Relationships aren’t always easy to decipher. Unfortunately, a simple “I love you” doesn’t always mean that someone is genuinely in love with you.
All in all, love and respect are crucial for healthy, happy relationships.
And someone who truly loves you will show you both by doing the things I mentioned above.
Don’t settle for anything less!
